Draft for review before launch. Not legal advice. Fill in anything in [brackets].

Terms of Use

Last updated [launch date]

The short version: DonateMeAMillion is an entertainment website and online store. You can buy Wall spots, roasts, merch and sky banners. It is not a charity, a fundraiser or an investment. Nothing here is tax-deductible, and nobody owes you a yacht if we hit a million.

1. Who we are

DonateMeAMillion.com (“the site,” “we,” “us”) is a brand operated by a registered U.S. business and hosted by an anonymous character called Mr. Nobody. Payments are processed by Stripe. The site is a comedy experiment: a public goal counter that tracks sales toward $1,000,000, plus the products below.

2. What we sell

Wall spots. A digital shout-out: your chosen name (or “Anonymous”), your state and the amount you paid, shown on the site’s public Wall, leaderboards and state map. Delivered instantly when payment clears.
Roasts. A short text post you write, published in the Roast Pit, usually followed by a reply from Mr. Nobody. Minimum $1. Delivered instantly unless held for review (see the Roast Pit rules).
Merch. Physical products (shirts, hoodies, mugs) printed on demand by our printing partner and shipped to you. See Shipping.
Sky banners and Sky Roasts. Paid placements that fly across the site for the purchased time. Every banner is reviewed before it flies and is labeled “Sponsored” or “Paid roast.”

3. Not a charity, not an investment

Purchases are payments for the products above. They are not donations, are not tax-deductible, and do not buy any ownership, profit share, equity or future return. The $1,000,000 goal is part of the joke and the site may keep selling after it is reached.

4. The counter and the numbers

The goal counter shows money received after card processing fees, printing costs (for merch) and an estimated tax amount. Tax figures shown on the site, including anything Uncle Sam says, are rough estimates for entertainment and are not tax advice.

5. Wall spots don’t last forever (probably)

Wall spots stay visible for as long as the site operates in its current form. We may change the design, sort order or how many entries are shown at once. We may hide names that break the rules, in which case we refund that purchase.

6. What you post

You are responsible for the names, roasts and banner text you submit. By submitting, you confirm you have the right to post it and give us a worldwide, royalty-free license to display, reply to, screenshot and share it on the site and our social accounts. We may refuse, hold or remove anything that breaks the rules, and removed paid content is refunded as described in our Refund Policy.

7. Celebrities and jokes

Any real celebrity, company or brand mentioned on the site is mentioned as a joke. There is no affiliation, endorsement or involvement unless we clearly say a person has been verified.

8. Who can buy

You must be at least 18, or have a parent or guardian’s permission, to make a purchase. Payments are processed by Stripe; we never see or store your full card number.

9. No guarantees

The site is provided “as is.” It may be down, slow, or briefly broken. To the extent the law allows, our total liability for any claim is limited to the amount you paid us for the purchase involved.

10. Changes and contact

We may update these terms; the date at the top will change when we do. These terms are governed by the laws of the State of Texas. Questions go to hello@donatemeamillion.com.